I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
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Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
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Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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