positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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