ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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