i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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