I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
