Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
