I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
