Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize