sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
