I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
