Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
