remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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