Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
