bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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