When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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