You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
