Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize