dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
