Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
