i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
