he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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