also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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