its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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