how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
