There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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