If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
