i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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