so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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