1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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