I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
