Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
