So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
