i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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