Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
