He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
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The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i've created a new STD.
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We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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