It's Friday. Sex?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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