I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My vagina is very pro this idea
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
