Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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