I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
