She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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