My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
