we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
