I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
