I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
