how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
