i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
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He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
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Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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