I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
