No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
