her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
