birth control should be required to get into college
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
