therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
