office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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