Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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