she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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