Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
