May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
